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Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Shitty Mom: The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us

I had four baby showers. Yeah, sit on that for a second. As someone who doesn't enjoy attending others', that was a lot. They were all lovely, though, and I'm beyond grateful for how many people love us enough to want to celebrate our bundle of joy with us. My second shower was a book shower, and my dear friend Becca brought me this book, Shitty Mom (by Laurie Kilmartin, Karen Moline, Alicia Ybarbo, and Mary Ann Zoellner), in addition to children's books. I am amazed at how well she knows me.

Babies become children, and the fantasy of what you will be as a mother is quickly dashed when the reality of actually having a child sets in. Four moms came together to write the parenting guide to end parenting guides, being honest about what we all fear -- being a shitty mom. Get over it, y'all -- we all are, so by definition, we all can't be. From chapters on road trips and screen time to traditions such as thank you notes, this book runs the gamut of situations we all get in yet pretend to know the answers. This includes non-moms (noms) who have answers to the hardest mom questions and they usually involve heavy judgement.

This was really the best baby shower gift; I can't thank Becca enough for this lovely, hilarious book that just lit up my days. I read it before my baby came, and I read it again after. It's funny at a minimum, hilarious often, and everything completely hits on my parenting style. I'm surprised at how much my son has chilled me out as a parent (but not in other ways -- my home is arguably more picked up than ever). I find myself not caring too much about dropped pacifiers and blankets on the floor (I mean, I will wash them eventually). The ongoing joke with my friends is that I skipped my first child and am on to the second child "not caring" stage. It's probably why I loved this book so much; it encourages moms to just chill out.

It's so important to laugh when you are a parent, and especially in the early years. At least, I'm discovering that first hand as I type this. If you don't, parenthood will be long and exhausting. My son makes me laugh all the time -- he is a riot. I am grateful for books like this that take parenting lightly and have a sense of humor about it all. I don't believe that parents love playing with their kids all the time or that going to the zoo is the most fun for grown adults, so if we can all acknowledge that and have a good laugh about it, life can be slightly more enjoyable. Is it kosher to drop your sick kid off at daycare? Of course not. But sometimes moms have no choice. Do people love leaving their kids to go on business trips? Probably not. But sometimes moms have no choice. The authors finding the humor in all of these things makes me feel like I have a tribe. 

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