Go Ask Alice

I have never read the infamous Go Ask Alice, even though it has obviously been on my radar my whole life. I mean, who hasn't heard of this supposedly-true anonymously written supposed-memoir? I decided to read it one day that I had a lot of commuting to do.

In short, a young girl turns 15, starts keeping a diary, tries drugs for the first time and becomes a fiend. I think the first time she tries anything she drops acid. She thinks it's amazing, and she ends up addicted to everything in the book. She loses her virginity on LSD (if I remember correctly) and it was just the absolute best experience and she isn't sure if sex not on drugs will ever be just as good. She ends up a homeless runaway twice, the first time becoming a successful business owner in San Francisco. (Yes, she is still 15.) She ends up getting put away in a mental hospital and dying soon after the book ends.


If your head is spinning from that "true story," you are not alone, my friends.

This is, inarguabley, the most absurd book I have ever read. You can't seriously buy into the idea that I would actually believe this was the real diary of a young girl, right? This was clearly written by an adult who thinks that she understands how a teenager writes. (Spoiler alerts: she doesn't.) If I want to read something overwrought and completely unrealistic, I would read romance novels. Also, the events are absurd. One day she tries LSD and then she wants to try everything under the sun? She never wavers, feels bad, or questions her choices? She looses her virginity on drugs and says it was the most amazing, wonderful, fireworks-filled experience of her life? Gag me, please.

The most absurd of them all, though, is in the middle of the book when, in the course of four weeks, she gets kissed by her childhood crush, then meets a man who has her try hash which is now totally her thing, she starts selling all kinds of hard drugs for this man and plans to set up a drug shop to support him through medical school, sells acid to middle school kids, then walks in on him having sex with his male roommate and then runs away to San Francisco. YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?!?

The most insulting part of this book is the supposed rape that occurs. It's apparently brutal and premeditated, but then nothing else is spoken about it. What I find insulting about this is that it has nothing to do with actual, long-term consequences of dealing with the aftermath of a sexual assault. The end of the section is that she will never ever see those horrible people again. Really? No PTSD? No flashbacks? No panic attacks? No dealing with the issues. It's disgusting.

Would I recommend this book? Only if you want to read something completely and utterly absurd. 

The Circle - Dave Eggers

Soooooo...yeah. It is not often that I find myself super creeped out by a book that is equal parts funny and riveting, so I would say Dave Eggers' latest, The Circle, is a win on all counts.

The world's most popular and powerful social networking company is The Circle. It has eclipsed all that we know into one amalgamation of transparency and communication. When Mae is hired to work in the customer experience department, it's the job of a lifetime. She embraces her new job full force, acquiring a new additional monitor at her desk on almost a daily basis. She shares her every move and embraces her new life, including her geeky crush and a mysterious stranger who strikes her family. The only problem? What happens when you share too much and your life becomes not your own?

Holy hell, what an amazing piece of work. Seriously. I am shaken to the core by this novel. Eggers has this lovely, lilting style of writing that is enrapturing and funny and erudite and super meta, and then he pairs it with a story that is frightening and soul-stiring and seems almost as if it could come true next year. It is an incredibly juxtaposition of style and content that it removes any rule you may know, understand, or embrace about content dictating style. Whoosh.

I was completely sucked in by Mae's experience at the Circle, from the moment she walked in until the moment she made her ultimate decision. Hell, even I wanted to work at the Circle; I almost put in a job application before I remembered it wasn't a real place. (Yet.) Things start to get frighteningly dystopic at the end, a way in which you might not even describe as dystopic, but I am choosing my words carefully here...which was amazing. Just...incredible.

Well...it even gets crazy in the beginning-middle. I started to become suspicious early on, and I was rooting for Mae's privacy from the very beginning. But here's the funny thing about privacy--it's only as present as you want it. Even for us and our book of faces obsessions; we must realize that loss of privacy is just one simple click away. How easily forgotten.

The ending will come as a bit of a surprise even if you can figure it out. It was not a sucker punch so much as it was a knocked-over-by-feather. I was in such shock from the book as a whole that the end was not surprising, in fact, it could easily be said it was expected; rather, it was normally astonishing. I think it was because regardless of how many signs pointed to the end, I hoped against hope it would go a different way. The fact that I was so affected (I had dreams about this book, y'all) is a testament to its greatness. Pick it up.

Kindle version on left, hard copy on right.

Unaccompanied Minor: A Novel

I picked up Hollis Gillespie's Unaccompanied Minor because it was made to seem like a thriller--instead I was treated to a book that exceeded all of my hopes and dreams in a fantastically hilarious piece of work.

April Mae (not May) Manning is a fourteen-year-old WorldAir legacy--as far back as she knows, her family has served the airline faithfully. April considers herself an honorary flight attendant; after all, they are her friends and she basically knows how to fly the plane. When her life starts to go wonky because her sociopath step-father (a pilot) manages to get full custody from her mom (a flight attendant) with no logical explanation, April goes on the run, bouncing between the coasts in the air with no one noticing she's gone. One problem--the flight she is on is being hijacked. Whoops.

Oh holy hell. Mother of pearl. OMG. Bloody Mary. Butter my butt and call me a biscuit. I ripped through this book harder than a free taco after a four day fast. JEEBUS LOUISUS. I would argue that this is the best thing since sliced bread. Hollis Gillespie, where have you been all my life? Be besties forever, maybe?

Seriously, there was not anything in this book that I did NOT like. I adored all of the characters, except of course the bad ones. But you're not supposed to like them, so that's okay. I adored the protagonists and heroine, April, and I adored that Gillespie created such a smart and young woman as well, albeit not entirely realistic one. But it doesn't matter; what I loved most about this book was precisely the lack of realism. It lent to itself so hilariously to a suspension of disbelief. I laughed, I cried, but mostly I laughed. Hard. Aloud. In public places.

All I want in my life is a good story and strong characters. From Captain Beefheart to Officer Ned, from Flo to April's attempted kidnapper, I loved them all. Even MacGyver plays a role. That's what I want--I want a story that draws me in and makes me part of its world. The only thing that makes it better as a writer who truly understands the absurd qualities of life and how to weave it into a narrative that is not only funny but is absurd and it's on meta-awareness. Gillespie gave me this. And for that, I think her.

This is supposed to be and a YA novel, but no way. This book was more than perfect for what I needed in my life right now. Seriously, Hollis, I was not kidding about the best friendship. Pretty please?

Kindle version on left, hard copy on right.

Happy Utopia Day, Joe McCarthy: A Novel

Everything I was expecting and more, this is J.T. Lundy's Happy Utopia Day, Joe McCarthy. 

Chris Thompson is an average United States Customs Agent with a wife and a son and a house and a job and that's about it. When he is called to a meeting out of the blue by the President of the United States, he finds himself on Bond-like mission of unparalleled proportions that involves an invented stealth invasion by Mexico and Canada, a government takeover by the Big Mac party, a retroactive adoption of McCarthian ideals, and a classified government program involving torture, Utopia, and Mackwacky.

So here's the deal. I picked up this book because I was desperately hoping for a farce of epic proportions mocking the government and 1950's ideals. I not only got what I asked for, but was also pleasantly surprised with the hilarious intrigue and satirical espionage that wraps around the (story) fig like (detail) bacon. This story is so farcical and outlandish that you can't not love it; it is a smart comedic send-up of a fringe political party (ahem...ring a bell?) and a cautionary satiric tale on the dangers of a government gone too far. Appropriate for today, no?

My favorite part of this whole story is not just its outlandishness but its brazen disregard for reality while still grounding the work in what could freakishly turn out to be a real government program. (No, I don't believe something like Emergence exists...or do I? And what is "Emergence," you ask? Read the book. Then you will know.) I loved how I could just giggle uncontrollably at the quick-witted jokes. (Really, Chris? You are a member of the Tri-Delt security clearance?) I loved that Lundy continuously brought back in Karen and Scotty, Chris's wife and son, for a human effect while still employing them for comedic purposes. I loved the ending that you don't see coming, but you do. Basically, I had so much with this book and you should too.

We all need more fun in our lives. Kindle version on left, hard copy on right.

Haiku for the Single Girl

Hi loves! I am on vacation until Wednesday, April 3 (it's Spring Break!!!), so the next few posts will be devoted to my favorite books of all time. I will be reading non-stop while I am away so there will be plenty of new books to discuss when I return!

My sister gave me an off-list gift for Christmas a few years ago--Haiku for the Single Girl by Beth Griffenhagen. It is just so absolutely amazing I have to share it.

How do I even begin? It's a book of haiku about being a single girl. Some are silly, some are serious, but all of them are riotously true. I have dog-eared the daylights out of this book with my favorite ones. Seriously, I look back on this all the time, especially after a bad date and I need to be reminded that I'm awesomely single.

I won't actually reprint any of the haiku here since you need to read this for yourself. It's short and sweet, gift-book size if you will, so it's not heavy reading. It's sweet and lovely with adorable line drawings to illustrate the poetry. Just get it. You will love it.

It makes a great gift. For others, or for yourself.
 

What In God's Name

Do you not laugh at life? Do you get offended easily? Does having a good giggle at parodies on God incense you? If your answer to any of the previous questions was "yes", do yourself a favor and exit the browser now. If the answer was, "What the hell? No!", read on. You will love What in God's Name by Simon Rich.

God, fournder and CEO of Heaven, Inc., decides one day that he is tired of the gig and wants to open an Asian fusion restaurant. This will, of course, mean that he has to destroy Earth. Fire or flood? Eh, wait until the day of to decide. One angel, Craig, who works in the Department of Miracles, can't accept this. He loves his job and believes in the power of what he does. He strikes a deal with the man upstairs (literally): if Craig can pull of the hardest miracle of his career--getting together two people who have prayed to be together but never cross paths--God will not destroy Earth. Can Craig do it in time? Or will he fail miserably?

This was a ridiculously fun read that required nothing more than a great attitude and an openness to laughing at satire. Rich does not treat this subject with venom or negativity; in fact, quite the opposite. Rich goes out of his way to create characters that are laughable, real, and open to love. I had such a great time with this book last weekend that there was no way to hate on Rich for his lampooning Heaven.

Like I said earlier, if you are easily offended then perhaps this book is not up your alley. But if you can take a joke, if you can laugh at yourself, and if you enjoy life as it is, this quick story will brighten your day and make you believe that maybe, just maybe, there is a team of workers up in the sky making things happen for you.

Get it for yourself. Kindle copy on the left, hard copy on the right:

Idiotville

Idiotville: The Fools' Handbook for the 21st Century by Robert Kral sounded super fun when I read the blurb--I love a good social satire and am always up for a little mocking.

Idiotville is an everytown in an everystate in America.  Their residents lack common sense and often find themselves maimed or killed for their stupidity.  Each chapter follows different residents through their days in their lives of Idiotville leaving the audience with a clear picture of why they would never want to live there--but are glad the residents of Idiotville do for our entertainment and enjoyment.

I was pleasantly surprised by this book.  It had me chuckling on my train ride and getting funny looks from passengers.  I love a good satire, and Kral certainly has provided me with an enjoyable one.  The residents of Idiotville are not entirely unlike what we East Coasters envision middle America (that's not the Midwest people, it's more of a general wash of people who vote for the Presidential candidate with which they would most like to party).  My favorite moment in the book was a wedding ceremony between the town indigent and the mayor's daughter performed by a priest with Tourette's.  I can't give the scene away because it will ruin one of the most hilarious literary moments I have enjoyed this year.

You can pick up the Kindle version here for $2.99, or just head to Amazon to order a hard copy for less than ten bucks.