Boys: An Illustrated Field Guide

Boys: An Illustrated Field Guide by Heather Ross was a gift to us from a friend who attended Comic Con last year, and it was just a positively lovely read.

This love letter to girls* (and boys!) everywhere, this book reviews all of the boys they may come across in their life, the ones they may fall in love with and ultimately have to leave behind. Each of these boys is a type, and in order to love them, there may be things you have to alter about yourself. The message is that it doesn't matter which type of boy you choose -- you must know yourself and be true to yourself first. (You may have to go through a few boys to learn this.)

I was quite taken by this book -- from the writing, to the message, and all the way through the illustrations. I read it to my little boy and he, too, was captivated by it. I loved the message that it's important to hold on to who you are, because being in love with a boy can easily take your sense of self and make you into something that you are not. I have known so many girls -- some women, even -- who have not had a personality of their own, and I have watched them morph from relationship to relationship, even into their 30's, without knowing who they genuinely were deep down. It's heartbreaking, so this book really spoke to me.

I feel like I have so many stories to count that I can't even being to separate them all. I watched one in particular spend her early 20's talking about how a college education was a waste of money and being an avowed atheist who never wanted children, and just a few years later be a devout church-going, college-attending, mother of three. The difference? You guessed it -- a new man. I didn't care who exactly she wanted to be -- that's her business and her life -- but it was sad watching her be a chameleon. (Before you say, "Maybe she changed!" I realize this is an option, but I know her better than you do. It was the man.) I have many stories like this, and I feel that they could have used the small push that this illustrated field guide gives just a little earlier in life.

I would pass this book down to so many young girls in my life so that they know there are so many boys you will come across -- smart boys, dangerous boys, adventurous boys, sweet boys -- and they are recognizable. It is important that you, too, be recognizable, albeit in a different way. Be you, be strong, and be yourself, whatever that looks like.

*I recognize here that I am referring to cisgendered heterosexual females. 

The Harm in Asking: My Clumsy Encounters with the Human Race

I picked up Sara Barron's The Harm in Asking: My Clumsy Encounters with the Human Race forever and a day ago, and I finally dove into it while nursing this past summer, and it fit the bill better than any other book I read during that time. I was up at all hours of the night and found that I could only read comedic work. Voila!

This collection of essays explores Barron's world all the way from her childhood and high school experience as a mall worker and hopeful lesbian-wannabe to a college student who cannot handle alcohol but still wants to be a druggie to an adult who desperately wants to adult but still ends up being asked to give business advice on being an escort to her dream man on what she thought was a date. Barron's crazy life is our essay-reading pleasure.

Laugh out loud, snortingly funny. That's how I felt about this book approximately halfway through. I found Barron's wry sense of humor to be absolutely amazing, and I was so grateful for these stories when they came into my world. Barron doesn't take herself too seriously (except for when she does, to our comedic reading pleasure), and her willingness to just simply be herself is a gold mine for us. The time that she strutted down a NYC street feeling like she was the shit while farting is amazing. Her desperate desire to be a lesbian for the cache is wonderfully hilarious. Her dating life sounded suspiciously like mine for the majority of my adulthood.

All of this to say, it felt like I had a spirit animal in Sara Barron. My stories are definitely not as good as hers, but I felt a kinship of epic proportions through her writing. As a younger version of herself she wanted to be something, even if she didn't know what that thing specifically was. She is so easy to relate to if you have ever been young, single, and making mistakes as you find yourself. She is also easy to relate to as someone who just wants to find herself and bases those searches on what she thinks she needs to be rather than who she is. I get that, and I got this book. It was hilarious, and I regret nothing. (Except maybe those fake glasses in fifth grade.)

Kramer vs. Kramer: A Novel

It was at Book Expo a couple of years ago that I picked up a copy of Avery Corman's Kramer vs. Kramer, and I believe it was an anniversary edition. I saw the movie years ago and wanted to take a read for myself. 

Ted and Joanna were a perfectly fine couple, or so Ted thought. After they had a baby boy, Joanna stayed home with him while Ted continued his work as a salesman. Except Joanna wanted more, and after not getting the support she needed from her husband, she leaves him and their son, Billy. Ted is shell shocked, as he doesn't know how to be a single father. Eventually he learns, and he comes to love and value their life together. When Joanna returns some time later  and demands custody of her son, Ted will fight her tooth and nail to keep the little boy he has grown to need. 

I have quite mixed feelings about this book. On one hand, as I got deeper into it, I got used to Corman's writing style which I found to be unnecessarily formal and stilted for a novel. Sometimes it get as if he were writing the story as he believed it should be rather than how the cash archers needs it to play out. His writing lacks a flow and often feels forced. It doesn't help that this book is a product of its time; the 1970's wasn't exactly a time known for its strident feminism or support of women as humans. It shows in the literature. 

Corman treats Joanna as a fragile creature, often bordering on nutcase. In 2017, it's not hard to see why she wanted to have a job, and to feel more fulfilled than that which being a mother provides. I get my it -- I absolutely have the need to work while loving my child deeply and widely. Toward the end of the book, I felt the story treated her a bit more fairly, and I see that the story is really Ted's, and it's from his perspective. I just wasn't the world's biggest fan of the portrayal of the character. 

That being said, about halfway through the story I was able to buy in to it, and it got much better. I loved the relationship that Ted built with Billy, and the honesty of the relationship in that Ted loves his son but also needs a break. It was a sweet story in that Ted fights tooth and nail for his son -- it feels that it should always be that way, for the pure motives. While the ending is unrealistic, and frankly stupid, the relationship that Ted fights for is very real, and the heartbreak when he loses custody is really quite sad. That was the heart of the book, in my reading. 

I don't remember much about the movie, so now that I'm done with the book I will go back and watch it, which should be interesting since I kept picturing the stars in the roles as I read the book. 

Belzhar: A Novel

I picked up a review copy of this at Book Expo three years ago, and I finally cracked open Meg Wolitzer's Belzhar recently. It was a quick read (as it's Wolitzer's YA novel), but it packed a punch.

Jam isn't crazy, so she doesn't understand why she has to spend next school year at The Wooden Barn, a place for young people who have been through a hard time to "rejuvenate." What a crock. Her boyfriend died, and she is devastated. Was she just supposed to pretend like nothing happened? No one seems to understand. She's lost her friends at home and her family is unsympathetic; even her therapist doesn't seem to care. Her first semester at the Barn she is put into Special Topics in English, a selective class with only five students per semester. She doesn't know why -- she didn't apply for it. As the class begins to grow on her and she begins to grow closer to her classmates, odd things begin to happen as Jam re-experiences her time with Reeve, the lost boyfriend. Will she be able to face her own demons and move on, or will she be stuck in the past forever?

I dove into this book and didn't come up for air until I was finished. It was truly a wonderful piece of writing, one that just sucked me in and made me live in it for a few hours. Watching Jam's story unfold was like opening up a stack of porcelain Russian nesting dolls; every time I opened a new one, I had to set it down gently and turn to the next in order to get to the bottom of things. Jam keeps the details of her loss close to the vest, so when we find out what happened to Reeve I was blown away and not at all expecting to uncover the what happened to him. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt the excruciating sadness that Jam experienced in my heart.

The characters in this book have all gone though some horrible things, and each is struggling with his and her mental health throughout the story. Wolitzer treats her characters with such deep respect and high regard that she removes a stigma of mental illness and replaces it with empathy and kindness. It's incredible to read, and I was thankful for such a book that does justice to young people facing such difficulties. No one is treated as crazy; everyone has a story to tell and issues to work through. There is one small thing that I would have liked to see addressed, but I can say nothing more without giving away an artery of a plot line, so let's just leave it at the wonderful book that it is. 

You Think It, I'll Say It: Stories

Curtis Sittenfeld is a darling in my eyes (her writing, I mean...I haven't actually met her, although I have no doubt she is lovely). I requested a review copy of her new book of short stories, You Think It, I'll Say It, with high hopes. I was not disappointed.

A newly single woman attends an academic conference only to make a decision that seemed like a good idea at the time. A happily married woman decides to have an affair with a family friend. A college student chooses a new friend unwisely. A new mom experiences the superiority of the perfectly coiffed pregnant goddess in her yoga class. An emotionally distant man enjoys single life save for the one secret woman he electronically communicates with about their shared love of classical music. A former magazine writer takes her new baby across the country with her to interview a celebrity, only to realize that her old dreams don't fit with her new life. A married mother despises the celebrity chef who used to sleep with her at camp years ago, who knows a secret that she longs to share with the world.

Short stories are hit and miss with me. Sometimes they miss the mark; sometimes they are absolutely everything. I have found that I particularly prefer female short story writers, and Sittenfeld fits into this mold. I was completely taken with this lot of stories and Sittenfeld's ever changing literary voice. She has a knack for finding the exact tone for her characters regardless of their age or gender, and it took practically no time for me to completely buy in to the plots of the individual stories. Reading her work was like eating a lemon cake with buttercream frosting -- it was light enough that I could eat three pieces, but rich enough that I could savor every bite while wondering how on earth something could taste so good. (This is also one of my highest complements, as this dessert combination is my life.)

There is so much I want to talk to you about each individual story, but I don't want to give you any spoilers because it's such a lovely book that you need to read it yourself. I found myself laughing out loud because Sittenfeld knows people at their basest human needs and desires, and she writes her characters and her stories to evoke this understanding. I think that's what makes her writing so accessible while still being something that you feel pleased to be given. There is a twist at the end of "The Prairie Wife," the story of the celebrity chef, that is so subtle that it was solidly brilliant. Not just good -- seamless. I found myself enraptured by "Off the Record," and the journalist who goes to interview a now-famous actress for a second time only to find herself with leaking boobs and losing the scoop. In "Volunteers Are Shining Stars," I loved the narrator although she was a terribly unlikable person. It was astounding, really, that I pulled for her even as she is jealously trying to ruin another person.

I often can't decide whether or not I like having an end to my short stories, because I love the ambiguity of a lack of ending but at the same time I want to punch someone for not knowing what happens to the characters. The most incredible part of Sittenfeld's stories was that I never got an official ending to anyone's story, but ultimately it doesn't matter because it was clear to me that I was just taking a small peek into these characters' lives for a small snippet of time. Even though I felt that I knew them deeply and intimately by the time I was halfway through their snippets, it didn't matter that I would never know what came before and what would come next. It reminds me of the question we ask in so many ways for so many reasons -- what makes today different than any other day? Sittenfeld takes just a moment from these lives and gives it to us to tell us why today is different than any other day in their lives, and their lives only. So when the stories end, they just end. I didn't feel like I needed more -- I finished very satisfied -- but by no means were ends wrapped up. Their lives would move on, and I will meet them again someday. (Right? RIGHT, CURTIS?)

Sittenfeld is one hell of a short story writer, and I would love to see more of this out of her. I love the rest of her work as well, and I may actually pull Prep now to read it earlier than I had planned, but I think this may very well be my favorite piece of her work. I'm completely blown away and in love with this collection. 

What Does Consent Really Mean?

What Does Consent Really Mean? by Pete Wallis and Thalia Wallis, illustrated by Joseph Wilkins, came across my radar when I was looking for new books to read on my Kindle this fall. (With a small baby, Kindle is really the way to go for me right now.) Now that I am a mother, I am looking for ways to teach consent to my child at a young age, as it's incredibly important to me. Hence, why I picked up this graphic novel. 

What is consent? What does it mean exactly, and does it take away the fun of a sexual encounter? Do you have a right to consent in a relationship? These are the big questions explored in this short primer on what it means to give consent and why it's important. Several friends get together after school, and one brings up a rumor that the new girl was raped. This sparks a discussion about what it means to say "yes" and "no," and if that even matters. (Spoiler alert: it does.)

What I found the most fascinating about this book was the spot-on characterization of high schoolers. Now, it's been on the far side of two decades since I started high school, but looking back on what I knew then, I saw myself in these characters. In fact, even just a couple of years ago I had a conversation with a good friend about women who get roofied, and this friend even, in their 30's, expressed fault on the side of the woman. I can speak to this, as someone who has had the *wonderful* experience of being drugged (that was sarcasm, in case you didn't catch it), that it was 100%, explicitly not my fault in any way. In fact, I couldn't have been more responsible at the time of the incident. But it took me a long time to realize that it wasn't my fault because I didn't give consent. 

So yes, I saw myself and my peers in these high school kids in a graphic novel, just the way I see all adolescents in their semi-developed prefrontal cortices.  Without a full understanding of what consent is and why it matters, kids will continue to believe that as long as it hasn't happened to them, that others should have made better (or even different) choices. 

Which is what I think is the brilliance of this graphic novel. It doesn't treat teens as if they have pedantic, juvenile conversations, but rather meets them where they are. Whether it's gossiping about the new girl being promiscuous, using the word "gay" as a pejorative, or doing things sexually with a boyfriend or girlfriend they aren't comfortable with, we all can understand these things because we've been there. So when the authors turn toward defining consent (with a diverse cast of characters, mind you), it's a seamless transition from gossip to, "Hey guys, wait a second..."

I'll be buying this in hard copy and holding on to it for my own kiddo when it comes to be about that time. We have a couple of other books we are using to guide him when he's younger, and we will add this to our arsenal when he's middle school age. Talk about consent can never start too young. 

Standard Deviation: A Novel

You may recall back a couple of years to when I raved about Katherine Heiny's Single, Carefree, Mellow, her book of short stories. I found it to be brilliant and enrapturing, and I formed a little bit of a writer crush on Heiny. Then she released a novel, Standard Deviation, and you guys, I am in full-blown love.

Graham and Audra have been married for some time, and they are raising their son who is on the spectrum and is currently mastering origami. Life is moving along swimmingly until the day that Audra gets it in her head that they should befriend Graham's cold and rigid ex-wife, Elspeth, who has come back into his life through no choice of his own. One glitch -- Audra was the other woman who precipitated that divorce. The several months spent finding their rhythm, wondering how to have a balance between a former love and a current one, and not killing long-term house guests welcomed by your gregarious and extroverted wife are life-changing for Graham, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

Heiny has a voice that is witty and sharp, and it comes through in this novel told from Graham's point of view. I ate the prose up because it's written in a voice that I know and understand and found deeply personal. I am not as witty as she, not even close in fact, so I am grateful to have had the chance to read and ingest this novel. I wish I had words to explain the joy that I felt reading this book, in the story itself but also in the characters. It reminded me of how I felt reading Jonathan Ames; while their writing is not a replica of one another, I felt that I was reading the thoughts of someone smarter and wittier than myself. That is an amazing read in my book.

I loved the characters in this book, from our protagonist, Graham, to his spacey and lovely younger wife Audra, to their son who was lovable and sweet and living life on the spectrum, to his friends in the origami club who were just as oddly lovable as he, to even Elspeth, whom Heiny made empathetic even though if she were someone I met in real life I might avoid talking to at the holiday party. Heiny has such respect for all of the characters she creates, from the doorman-turned-squatter to the philandering men in the book. I thought about the world of the characters for some time after closing the book, wishing I could be in their world a little bit longer. What a gift it is to finish a book and feel satisfied, yet still wanting to know more.

So, Ms. Heiny, if you ever by some long shot ever read this little post, could you please hurry with another piece soon? It's so enjoyable escaping into your work, even when my subway train is stalled. Which every New Yorker knows is the worst.  

Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning

I can't recall what drew me to the new memoir, Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning by Claire Dederer, but something did, so I picked it up from the library recently. 

As Claire enters her midlife, she opens her old journals -- which she kept from an early age up until her marriage -- and begins reflecting on the choices she made in life and in love. From young oversexualization to her current state of marriage, from an awareness of her sexuality through being hit on by a notorious literary womanizer, Claire revisits the experiences and the memories that shaped her. 

This was such an interesting memoir, and one that I'm still thinking on. I am a different generation than Dederer, so I was sometimes shocked by her stories of being a young girl and her sexual exploits. However, her tale of the root of the problem -- sexual manipulation with a creepy friend of her mother's -- broke my heart and put two and two together for me. My heart broke for the young, scared girl who was at the mercy of her mother's whims. We could say that parents just didn't understand back then, but did they? 

The most striking chapter in this book is Dederer's letter to Roman Polanski. Society has done a very good job of covering up his sexual assault of a young girl, so much so that I found out the details of that assault in this book. Not that I couldn't look it up in the interwebs, but that when we hear about the punishment of Polanski in the media, it's about how it was a long time ago and even the victim has forgiven him. Dederer writes a missive that shows the long-ranging ramifications of the choices Polanski made in regards to a young girl who didn't deserve to be manipulated at a minimum. What we understand now is that a pre-teen isn't old enough to give consent. Dederer's words that express how deeply she was affected by this man's actions, and the parallel to her own experience, was striking and moving, like a punch in the gut. 

At some point we all have a midlife reckoning, I believe, and Dederer's is raw and honest, sometimes to the point of uncomfortability. (If that's not a word, I just made it one.) but what a beautiful and timely reckoning it is. 

My Fair Junkie: A Memoir of Getting Dirty and Staying Clean

Amy Dresner's memoir, My Fair Junkie: A Memoir of Getting Dirty and Staying Clean stuck out for me as it sounded funny and honest, and we all know I love those two things. 

Amy is an addict. Although she prefers opioids, anything will do. Alcohol makes her violent, cocaine works too, and sex fills the void when she is sober from substances. She can't be alone, and she doesn't know how to cope. A 40-something woman who grew up wealthy and spoiled, she's never learned coping mechanisms for the curveballs life throws. Her seventh stint in rehab after a domestic violence incident (by her) finally forces her to deal with who she is and her choices in life. No one said it would be easy, though. 

Addiction is no joke, and it's a disease that takes the ones you love. Amy was no different. It was incredible to read her searing honesty and raw wit as she lays her soul bare in this memoir. It's tough to tel us the whole, honest truth, especially using such dark humor (my favorite), and she's doing it in writing for the public. Although I do understand that she. You are writing, it is sometimes the most cathartic thing and others reading or not it doesn't well matter. It was amazing to read her recounting of her wrongs in her own way, and to know that dealing with addiction and shame is a common experience. 

Shame is a powerful emotion that drives many of our choices as human, and Amy had every reason to be ashamed of many of her choices, even while sober.  Maybe especially when sober. Some parts elicited so much sympathy from me, and some mad respect for her ability to put it out there an own it. This included a few sexual exploits, and her embarrassment in what she was willing to do to fill the empty void inside her. I cheered for her when she finished her community service, laughed with her at the irony of having to call the graffiti removal squad, and hid my head for her when she agreed to continue sleeping with losers. We are all human, and we all have our fair share of shit. I'm thankful that Amy could lay here out there for us so others could feel not so alone. 

Single, Carefree, Mellow: Stories

When the hot new book of the week is released, I usually have to pick it up, and Katherine Heiny's book of stories, Single, Carefree, Mellow did not disappoint.

11 stories about about women who love, lose, cheat, hurt, and just simply live their lives. Maya anchors the collection, a woman in love with her boss and her boyfriend both. Sasha commits to a drink with her boyfriend's wife, only to realize what a bad idea that really is. Gwen is in love with her roommate, but does he or doesn't he love her back? Josie's lover has found a new one -- on Twitter. Nina is sleeping with her running buddy while hosting the local minister in her garage apartment. Lives are messy in the real world.

These women all make up the strong, lovely, flawed, and honest characters of this incredible story collection. I mean, I heard it was good, then I read it and absolutely fell in love with Heiny's ability to tell a short story with sparkling sentences that lay out the absurdity of her characters while still making them entirely real and easy to relate to. I can't say that I have ever been in the position any of these women have been in, but I do know what it is like to be a young woman (I'm still young, damn it) dating and having feelings about gentleman callers and wanting to be seen as sexy and yearning and caring. This is exactly what this collection captures: the feelings and the feels and the complexities of being a human being living a life that is not a linear and logical path.

It is the through line of Maya that was particularly extraordinary. She is a young woman who is in love with her boss and wants to break up with her boyfriend, but not necessarily in that order. She more yearns for her boss because she wants to break up with her boyfriend. However, in the stories that follow, and I can't tell you what happens because it spoils the exact reaction I believe Heiny wants out of you, she becomes someone I cheered for even as she was making bad decisions. I loved her boyfriend and his family, and I just got who they were. Those we love tend to bring out both the best and the worst in us, and we in turn see the best and the worst in them. When we get into relationships, we choose the other person's family for better or for worse. Maya stays with her boyfriend in part out of comfortable love for him, but also out of longing for the love of his mother and the annoyance of his sister.

This collection was just marvelous, and I could not recommend it more. It is a shining star in the world of short stories, and you would be remiss in not adding it to your summer reading queue.  

For purchase below. 

The New "I Do": Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists, and Rebels

I have always gone back and forth on wanting to get married, and that's one of the reasons I choose singledom. This is repeated in the book, but my thing has always been that I wouldn't mind getting married, I just don't want to be anyone's wife. So I was quick to grab up Susan Pease Gadoua and Vicki Larson's The New "I Do": Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists, and Rebels.

Does traditional marriage make sense today? The part where two people fall in love and commit their lives to each other and sign a license to be wed and promise 'til death do us part in front of family and friends. What if we took marriage and turned it into what we want it to look like? This means that if we view parenting as the most important part of our lives, why don't we find marriages that support co-parenting? If we want a long-term companion, why wouldn't we seek that out instead of searching for passion? If we want to marry someone whom we love but aren't attracted to, why wouldn't we have an open marriage? These and other questions lay the foundation for closely examining what marriage is, and what it should look like as the 21st century barrels forward.

It took me a bit to buy into the argument, but as soon as the authors made it clear that marriage is a contract that is submitted to the government, they had me. This is always how I have seen marriage--it's a long-term contract that can be broken at any time. Friends have gotten on me about having divorce in mind when I marry, and my counter arguments have always run along the lines of: I'm not sure long-term monogamy is a thing for every person (or even most people); like it or not, divorce is a reality for half of the people who enter into it; and I wouldn't want to marry anyone I couldn't be divorced from. What I mean by that last statement is, I wouldn't want to be with someone whom I believed would go through the process being overwhelmingly douchey. Hence, when I pick a mate, I will pick someone who can fight fair.

(As you can guess, this will be a bit more of a reflective post than most.)

I have been very lucky, being in my early 30's, to have watched my friends get married and make their marriages work--or not. I have been able to sit back with my glass(es) of wine and indulge in a fantasy of what I want and what I don't. Now, this being said, I prefer to remain single, hence why I have effectively stopped dating and am getting a PhD. I still saw myself stuck prominently in the middle of this book--after everything I have seen, I realize how little I believe in love as we know it--the tingly butterflies, knots in the stomach, crazy passion that comes with the first couple of years in a relationship. As you can see, that clearly hasn't worked me. Hell, the last "relationship" I had (and I use that term loosely) ended because I was sure he was cheating on me--which he was, but he was also cheating with me, on his fiance. [You read that right the first time. It appears that even smart, savvy women can have the wool pulled over their eyes and, admittedly, ignore the glaring red, glowing signs.]

So it was really wonderful to read a book that gave me options, but most of all, that I found a chapter (and a marriage) I can relate to--the Companionship Marriage. I have always said that I am pragmatic about marriage, and that all in all, it is a contract you sign and submit to the government for advantages in return. That being said, I view marriage as much more about long-term commitment and an agreement that we are going to swim forward together--which may mean one may move ahead of the other at times, but ultimately, we will arrive at the same destination. I have said many times, jokingly of course (but maybe not), that I am looking for the person I hate the least. Because if I can find someone I like hanging out with as much as I like being alone, it might be worth it.

I also would absolutely, positively consider the Living Alone Together marriage. The most successful relationships I have had have been long-distance for a significant period of time. This kind of relationship works best for super busy, incredibly independent people. (I don't know anyone like that who writes for this blog.) I agree with several people interviewed for that chapter that if you aren't dealing with the day-to-day of taking the trash out, making the bed, ordering light bulbs, etc., then you can focus on the enjoyment of being together. I have found that has been very true for my life. Perhaps I can find me a nice Californian tech-magnate who can afford to fly back and forth on a weekly basis? Any takers?

All of this to say that I found the book to be more insightful than I was expecting, and I would absolutely recommend it to anyone, married or not. I appreciate that it gives the reader permission to have exactly the kind of relationship they want, whether or not that be actual marriage or some variation on a theme. Why shouldn't we be allowed to make our lives what we want?

For purchase below.

Blogger Girl: A Novel

How meta, isn't it? No, Blogger Girl by Meredith Schorr is not about me. It's better than that.

Kim is a legal secretary by day and book blogger by lunch-hour. She deals with her job; she is good at it and loves her boss, but it's not like there is any room for growth. No matter, it gives her the time to work on Purple is the New Black, her beloved blog. As her high school reunion approaches, Kim has to juggle insecurities about her job with running into her high school nemesis who has just so happens to have just published her first novel--and wants Kim to review it. Combine that with her work crush possibly being something more, and Kim's life is on a whirlwind joy ride around New York City.

Such a meta book in so many ways. Kim, or "Kimmie" to her crush, has devoted her blog strictly to chick lit, and lo and behold, this book is squarely in the chick lit category. Which I certainly didn't mind. Chick lit means that the romance angle is kept squarely to a minimum and that it hits on the main character's needs and wants--light and fluffy with a fun story, keeping the crazy dalliances to a minimum while still leaving the reader flush with cotton candy-like happiness. I appreciated how Schorr kept to her word and kept this book exactly that. 

I really enjoyed Kim's relationship with her best friend; it was complicated enough without being life-or-death, and in the end friendship conquers all. I particularly loved the high school reunion scene, but you will have to pick up the book yourself to read it. Speaking of the reunion scene, Schorr did a great job of capturing the awkwardness of seeing these people for the first time in ten years while still being excited to find out where everyone has ended up. Rather than dreading the reunion, Kim and her friends find bright spots to look forward to. 

This was a nice companion to a long week for me; it allowed me to suspend by own world for some time and dive into a lighter and more fun one. Never change, Kimmie--never change.

For purchase below.
 

Agorafabulous! Dispatches from My Bedroom

Agorafabulous! Dispatches from My Bedroom by Sara Benincasa was all I was told and more.

Have you ever had such a huge fight with your bathroom that you chose to pee in cereal bowls rather than deal with the consequences of using the toilet? No? Well then you just don't understand. Comedian Sara Benincasa takes on her agoraphobia, mental breakdown, taking down of a spiritual guru, voyaging to Texas to teach hardscrabble kiddos, and living in New York City. You may just never be the same.

Reading this book was a combination of laughing hysterically then feeling horrible about said laughing because that which Sara is discussing isn't supposed to be funny--I mean, she is losing her &%$^. But her characteristic wit and her deeply ingrained pathos makes it easy to laugh and feel like it could just as easily have been you. (You know, that whole, "There but for the grade of God go I" thing.) It was amazing, really, that someone who went through such hell could come out on the other side and be so absolutely charming, self-deprecating, and all-around winning.

I also have to say that this is the perfect mid-semester book. Reading Sara's writing is like sitting around with a friend on a night in enjoying a glass of wine...or whatever you don't spit out your nose in the process of trying to stifle your uncontrollable laughter. It's not super heavy but has enough meat to keep you on your toes. And taking a couple of days off between chapters isn't a totally big deal, because you can always pick back up with Sara's insane life. Whether she is telling tales of woe about losing her long-term boyfriend whom she didn't really like anyway or she is putting up with a raving lunatic of a boss,  I just wanted to hang with her for a little while longer.

Kindle version on left, hard copy on right.

A Life in Men: A Novel

The weather here has been so horrible lately that I desperately wanted to read something that looked warm. The cover of A Life in Men by Gina Frangello hit the spot. 

Mary and Nix are the best of friends, but their trip to Greece is the beginning of the end for them. Mary, recently diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, heads back to college in the States and Nix heads to a semester abroad in London. The story picks of three years later with Nix gone and Mary a wandering soul, trying to find herself and her place in the world. She finds herself defined by the men in her life, yet she still turns to the dead Nix for guidance. A chance encounter years later leads Mary to understand the truth of that Greece trip, and how she can ultimately learn to accept who she is, what happened, and what life is about.

I really loved Mary as a character. I thought her will to live and push forward even as the most important people in her life are chastising her for not taking "better care of herself" (whatever that is) was strong-willed and made her a force of nature. What I mean by "whatever that is" is that sometimes that can really be a fundamental difference between what the overprotectives in our lives call "taking care of yourself" and what we feel is truly "taking care of ourselves." Mary doesn't want to spend her life living in a bubble, unable to see the world and discover who she is because she is so concerned about dying. She has CF for crying out loud--her life span will already be cut short. Why not get out there, do what she feels pulled to do, and live the short life she has been given? I loved this about her, and it made me feel drawn to her as a character.

What I didn't like about Mary, though, was her desperate seeking of acceptance of men through sex. I felt it took away from the power she gained by putting her foot down and refusing to cave into her disease. I know that humans, and women in particular, as fickle creatures--we stand up in one area and easily cower in another, those who seem so strong and independent find themselves kowtowing to those more forceful in their lives--but I wanted someone a bit stronger in my lead female character. It's the feminist in me. That being said, I stand by my previous appreciation of Mary. 

I was saddened and moved by the discussion of Nix, from the discovery of the circumstances of her death to the realization of what actually happened on that trip to Greece. I found myself wishing that I could have known her before she died--and then I had to remind myself that she wasn't a real character. She is the one that I wanted to see five, ten, twenty years in the future. She was the definition of feisty yet she was still so human--I was thankful that Mary felt the need to live for her. It made the story more emotional and heightened the stakes for the reader. I enjoyed this relationship in the novel and was happy to follow it.

Kindle version on left, hard copy on right:

The Husband's Secret: A Novel

I thoroughly enjoyed the first book I read by Liane Moriarty, so I picked up The Husband's Secret one cold, rainy afternoon this winter.

Cecilia blames it all on the Berlin Wall. Her middle child is obsessed with knowing about it, so on a search to find an artifact that will aid in this learning, Cecilia finds an envelope from her husband with instructions to open it only in the event of his death. After some thought, she opens it. What she finds in the letter will rock her world, sending her life into a tailspin and forcing her to question all she knows about the foundation of her marriage and family. There are others that are also affected by the news in the letter--and once they discover the truth as well, no one's life will ever be the same.

I couldn't put this book down. As in, I sat at home one snowy day, didn't leave my house, and read this book cover to cover non-stop. (Ok, I did pause to eat and wash dishes, but it was negligible.) The story drove me to turn each page and read like a maniac to find out what was happening next. Moriarty has this way with her prose that keeps you hanging off of a cliff and instead of skipping ahead to the pertinent information, you find yourself thanking her for making you wait and you patiently read the filler between the lead-up and the information you need. (Maybe not so patiently.)

This was in a different vein than What Alice Forgot. This was much darker and soul-probing than Alice, and I appreciated that immensely. While I loved the previous novel, I felt this one was darker and deeper and asked in-depth questions of the lengths we will go to protect our family. Each woman in the story has a different motivation for her actions, but at the end of the day each chooses to be ferocious about the protection of marriage, family, and home. Circle the wagons, everyone. No one's getting in.

This was a fantastic read, and I picked it up at the exact right time in my reading journey. I dove in head first and swam the length of the pool before coming up for air. Moriarty's writing will do that to you. She will make you finish the race and leave you with answers whether you want them or not.

Kindle version on left, hard copy on right. 

The Rosie Project: A Novel

I had been hearing really great things about Graeme Simsion's The Rosie Project, so I grabbed it from the library. These people weren't lying.

Don Tillman is a professor of genetics and in search of a suitable partner with whom to spend his life. The only problem is that he rarely gets past a second date, and this is because of two reasons: he lacks the requisite social skills and he doesn't like the ladies he has taken out. He sets out on The Wife Project, armed with an extensive survey to weed out the unsuitables. It's only when Rosie comes into his life, the opposite of everything he is looking for in a partner from dress to attitude, that Don realizes, slowly and surely, that maybe he has been going about this all wrong the whole time. It is he that needs to learn how to love.

You. Guys. You have no idea how much I love this book. Maybe it's because I have a little bit of Don in me, maybe it's because I know a lot of people like me and Don, maybe it's because it's a damn good book. Who cares? This book is just fantastic.

I appreciate the honesty in this book. The rawness, the realness, and the absolute hilarity of what it's like to be around someone who genuinely has no social skills. But I loved, more than anything, the soul-searching that Don did throughout the book. The character arc is just stunning. Don's willingness by the end of the book to take a step away from what he understands and search deep down in his soul for an understanding of what love truly is was beautiful.

This book was an overall quick read but that doesn't mean that it lacks heart. This book felt like the reading equivalent of what I watched when I saw the Grinch's heart grow three sizes. (Was it three? Or was it two? Or does it matter? The image remains the same.) I recommended this book to all of my grad school friends, and all of my professor friends, but I can't imagine why everyone in the world wouldn't love this book.

Unfortunately, I think it's frightfully easy for so many of us to understand what it's like to push people out of our lives. (Me? No way. No issues here. Look away.) To identify with and to love so deeply the main character, and just stand by him while he learns to admit that he might care about somebody so far away from what it is he wants was just absolute delight.

So yeah, you should read this book. You'll like it.

Kindle version on left, hard copy on right.

A Bad Idea I'm About to Do

I read a list some time ago about the funniest memoirs around, and Chris Gethard's A Bad Idea I'm About to Do was on there. I can't remember where or when I read it, but I'm certainly glad I did for this reading experience.

Chris Gethard is a comedian, and there is much that is funny about his life. In this memoir, he explores, among other things, his time at Rutgers and how losing his AIM account drove him to the brink of madness; the time that he had the most satisfying colonic of his life; and finally breaking down and admitting that he is bipolar. No matter the embarrassment level or lack of humor in the situation, Gethard will find it and milk it--for your enjoyment.

It's hard to pick a favorite story, because several of them made me laugh out loud so hard I would have shot milk out of my nose if I actually drank milk. So funny, in fact, I would have drank milk just to shoot it out of my nose, that's how funny these stories were. It's a toss up between the time some kid at Princeton AIM-bombed him and he lost his account so he drove to Princeton to threaten him with this fellow Rutgers nerd-cronies and the time he tried to outrun a cop on side streets in New Jersey. Oh, and the colonic. That was quite hilarious. And anything with his mother. Ok, ok, never mind, I won't try to chose a favorite. They were all great. You should just see for yourself.

Kindle version on left, hard copy on right.
 

Which Brings Me To You: A Novel in Confessions

Oh, how I love a unique novel. This one is epistolary, and so original in concept and execution. This is Steve Almond and Julianna Baggott's Which Brings Me to You.

A woman and a man meet at a wedding. They almost sleep together in a coat closet--until he decides he might actually kind of like her and may not want to ruin it by sleeping together on the first non-date. Instead, he suggests they get to know each other the old fashioned way--through letters in the mail. What these two learn through the process of communication, about each other and about themselves, will either lead to the greatest romance in history or one hell of a romantic bomb. 

I had a blast with this book. It was such a unique concept for a story that I was fascinated by the layout. The character development was really great--by the end of the book I felt that I grew to know each of these people as separate individuals yet the potential beginning of coupledom. It was really fascinating and fun.

Dating in the time of electronic communication is frustrating, full of constant misunderstanding, and general untruths that can be dispelled with the click of a mouse. (I know, I'm in the midst of it.) It was heartening to read the story of a couple who was able to move past the lack of emotion in text messaging and awkward silences over the phone to pour out their feelings on paper. (Yes, these are fictional characters.) Taking stock of your romantic past to a potential romantic future--daring and awesome.

Hard copy for purchase below.

Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns

Yes, my friends, even I love Miranda Priestly and her hardened, ice-cold stare. Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns by Lauren Weisberger.

When we last left Andy giving Miranda the kiss-off in Paris, she was soon-to-be-jobless, soon-to-be-single, and overall down on her luck. Things have turned out not so bad after all. A decade later she is married to publishing royalty, expecting a bundle of joy, and the editor in chief of her very own magazine with her best friend--Emily! When the two business partners receive word about a deal that could change their lives, Andy discovers that maybe she is not on the same page after all--with anyone in her life. Will Miranda's claws sink into her life once again? Or will Andy be able to hold her back and claim what is rightfully hers?

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was entertaining and earnest and fun. I am so happy that I picked it up in the middle of my exams; it was pure escapism. I loved languishing in Andy's new found wealth and her simple acceptance of it while still being herself. I loved that she had a man who loved her so much, and when she was betrayed I couldn't blame her. It was not overreacting; in fact, I say "was" betrayed instead of "felt" betrayed, because if you feel the initial hurt sucks, you just wait until you get to the end of the book.

I won't say much more since you will either read the book or you won't, probably based on whether or not you read the first. It's worth the ride if you just want to dive into a book and love some great characters for a while, because they are truly well-developed characters. I felt myself wanting to go home to finish reading the book. I cared about Andy and the gang, and I love when that happens. Weisberger has this fabulous way of not making you hate her characters regardless of how fabulous a life they live and you do not. It's what makes me pick up her next book, over and over again. It also makes me want to go find a rich husband.

Kindle version on left, hard copy on right. And just for fun, the original too!

Lola Bensky: A Novel

I was taken by the premise of this book, and I had to read it immediately. Lola Bensky by Lily Brett was such a lovely treat, like Christmas cookies. 

It's 1967, and the London music scene has never looked so good. The Stones, The Beatles, Janis, Jimi, and everyone in between. Lola Bensky is nineteen and a reporter for an Australian publication; she is sent to London to cover the music scene. Lola is a bit overweight, wholly lacking confidence, and fascinated beyond belief. As we see Lola grow older and look back on her time in London, we watch history unfold through the eyes of a young woman in her prime.

If you are a fan of the music of the time (and really, would you ever trust anyone who was not?), you will love the tale spun by Brett, a journalist, that imagines what these interviews would have looked like and the experiences Lola would have had.

What I appreciated most in this book was Lola herself. Her self-consciousness and constant desire to lose weight is so easy to relate to as young female (or as one looking back on that time). Don't we all look back and wish we appreciated that time in our lives when we were at our skinniest (even though we complained about how fat we felt), our loveliest (although we wished we had longer/shorter/straiter/wavier hair), and our eagerest (if I only I could get that job...). The imperfectness of Lola was what made her so human, so real, and so relatable.

Hard copy for purchase below. Enjoy!