The Sound of Gravel: A Memoir

Ruth's father had 42 children -- she was number 39. She was a rough and tumble girl, having three siblings before her and almost a half dozen more to come. Her father was killed when she was a baby by his brother in a power struggle for the church, and her mother remarried soon after. This man, however, was not the man he purported to be. Raising her children in destitution and squalor, Ruth's mom gave birth to a series of babies while choosing to remain ignorant to the sexual abuse her husband was perpetuating on his own step children. While Ruth is still young, tragedy strikes the family, and she must make a decision that will change all of their lives. 

This memoir was super intriguing and incredibly interesting. I have been on a kick lately reading about poverty, and this memoir surprisingly fit into it. Of course I have lots of thoughts on issues such as depending on the government when your religion believes it is the devil, but if I'm just keeping it to the story, I would say it's definitely worth the read. Truth is certainly stranger than fiction, and Ruth's truth is mind-blowing if you have never experienced poverty at the level she has. 

The biggest question, I think, is at what point do you need to walk away from a chosen religion that encourages an unhealthy lifestyle for your children? I specifically mean living in squalor to the point of disease and the inability to ensure the safety of your babies. It's easy to argue in the story that Ruth's religion was the crux of her families problems. Now, that isn't to say that every religion causes problems, but theirs specifically doesn't just advocate for this lifestyle but embodies it. The lifestyle being one of poverty, barely enough to eat, definitely not enough nutrition for small growing bodies, and ultimately sexual abuse of minors. While the sexual abuse isn't necessarily inherent in the religion, the willingness of the community members to stand for such treatment of children in their midst -- including the mothers of the abused children -- is nothing short of shameful and unacceptable.

The hardest part of this book is that the only reason Ruth escaped her daily horror was because her mom died. That is incredibly unfortunate because it took the death of her rock and the only real functioning adult in her world to bring order and a childhood to her life. I appreciate what it too for her to write this story, and I'm happy she did. 

Guest Blogger Charlotte: Alice in Wonderland

Hi There!

I have always been a bit hesitant to read classics, not because I doubt how amazing they are, but because I didn’t want to not enjoy them and crush my 7-year-old self. Anyways, this month Alice in Wonderland kept popping up, so I decided to go ahead and read the fairy tale and let me say, I was far from being disappointed!

Lewis Caroll’s Alice in Wonderland is considered a children’s book, however, it is so beautifully written that I thoroughly enjoyed reading about tea parties, chasing a rabbit, and an intense game of croquet. I guess what I’m trying to say is the book can be enjoyed by anyone, especially if you love adventure with a touch of magic and madness. Also, I thought it was very interesting to somewhat go back to the story of Wonderland that I so desperately desired to travel to and loved while growing up. However, reading it a few years later, I found that different things stood out to me and even though I still adore the story, I focused on different parts of the book this time through.

The book begins when Alice is being read a book by a sister, and to Alice’s surprise, the book has no images! This deeply troubles Alice, and a running white rabbit that is completely distressed and running late soon distracts her. For obvious reasons, Alice follows the rabbit… I mean who wouldn’t? She follows him until she falls into a whole for what feels like hours! I mean seriously, Alice is able to pick up books from shelves and drink tea and even comes to the conclusion that she will soon arrive on the other side of the world. My favorite part of this scene is when she contemplates how it will feel to be standing upside down. Out of all the things she could be thinking, like where is she or the fact that she is falling, (!!!) left me with a bubbly feeling inside. It shows pure innocence and joy and I absolutely loved the little details like this throughout the novel.

Alice soon lands and finds herself in a corridor of doors. She quickly finds the rabbit and continues her mission to figure out why he is in such distress.  This is when Alice is confronted with a small door and is unsure what to do. All the other doors are locked and when a key appears on a table in the room, it only opens the minuscule door. She looks in and sees a beautiful garden and is completely dedicated to fitting through the door and exploring this garden and Wonderland. Then, the infamous scene with the ‘Drink me’ potion and ‘Eat me’ cake occurs.

Once she makes it through the door her adventure in Wonderland begins (yay!).  Even though I know the story, I was so excited to see what would happen. She meets fabulous and quirky characters, but also meets characters that teach her important lessons and morals. As the book continues and Alice continues her adventure, the reader also gets to see different parts of her personality and we find out that she is actually a quite fiery, yet kind and confident girl that I honestly wish I could be.

However, my favorite characters were by far the Tea Party ‘Crew’ (especially the Dormouse), the Caterpillar, and the Queen of Hearts because of how well written they were, and that I could somewhat relate to them. (I’m not crazy I promise.) The Tea Party ‘Crew’ stood out to me for their utter insanity, and because the tea party never stops, which I think everyone dreams of. I especially want to mention the Dormouse because it was always sleeping, but said such random things when it was awake that I couldn’t stop myself from giggling. Then, the Caterpillar came along.  I really enjoyed him.  Not because he kept asking strange questions, but because he truly did have some good points that still have me questioning what I’m doing with my life. Lastly, the Queen of Heart a.k.a the Drama Queen was also one of my favorites. My younger self was definitely afraid of her, but this time around I just found her to be hilarious. I loved her personality, and couldn’t get enough of her overly dramatic and often compulsive comments.

Alice left me left with a good feeling inside that I hadn’t felt with a lot of the more current novels I’ve been reading. I truly enjoyed my visit to Wonderland and recommend everyone to either read this book, or a fairytale classic they grew up loving. It will put you in such a bubbly mood, and you’ll find new meanings to the story. It is so beautifully written and magically organized that it flew by fast in the best way possible. I guess this means I’ll be reading more ‘classics’ now!

POGS,

~ Charlotte

In the Middle of the Night: The Shocking True Story of a Family Killed in Cold Blood

Ah, yes, true crime. In the Middle of the Night: The Shocking True Story of a Family Killed in Cold Blood by Brian McDonald was a no-brainer.

In 2007, the murder of the Petit family in Cheshire, Connecticut rocked the nation. The beautiful family, made up of a father, a mother, and two young daughters, were sleeping when two parolees broke into their home, beat the father, and tied up the women. A night of horror ensued, ending in the early morning hours with the three women dead, the father close to incapacitated, and the house burnt to the ground.

This book was published in 2009, and quite a bit has happened in the way of justice since then. Both perpetrators were found guilty and sentenced to death, and the town has honored the victims. But it's the story of that night that kicks me in the gut every time I hear it.

Overall McDonald's book is a comprehensive look at the events of that July night, and a good chunk of the book is spent exploring Joshua Komisarjevsky's past as a way to try to understand what took over a man to move from a life of petty break-ins to cold-blooded murder. It's an interesting angle on the case, but I have to say that it was just a little too detailed to hold my attention for long. I wanted to hear the victims' story most of all; when McDonald wrote about the family I was the most intrigued.

McDonald did a very good job of telling the story of the events of that night in a clear narrative that kept me focused. I think that if I had picked up this book when it was first published I might have been more captivated; in the past three years more information has come out and more story has been told. McDonald's writing is clear and easy to follow, and I would absolutely recommend this book if you are looking for background on the case or you would just like a good true crime read.

Guest Blogger Charlotte: The Things You Kiss Goodbye

Hi There!

I’d heard of this book from friends and seen it around with solid reviews on GoodReads. I’d also heard of Leslie Connor before, mostly via Waiting For Normal, which I loved. The Things You Kiss Goodbye has been on my list for a while, though I did skip over it a few times on the shelf for something more lighthearted. I had this feeling all along that this one would get me right in the feels and that’s exactly what happened.

Early on Connor introduces us to Bettina Vasilis. She’s clearly a grunge girl. You know the type. Her family is from Greece, and because of this Bettina naturally feels a bit different from everyone else. Deep down inside she feels like an outsider, and she projects this uncertainty with lots of henna tattoos and grungy mini skirts. Her parents are very strict and have this air of disappointment when it comes to Bettina’s choices, particularly her Bampas (father). Bettina manages her relationship with Bampas by yes-ing him to his face while living an undercover life. She sneaks out and skips classes on a regular basis.

I kind of get Bettina, but I don’t feel the closeness with her that I do with, say, Meg Garcia from I Was Here. You sort of observe this story and character as opposed to feeling a part of what’s happening. Also, in very fundamental ways she seems to weaken as the book goes on, which compounds this issue.

Bettina catches the eye of Brady Cullen. Brady is on the basketball team and socially everything Bettina is not. They sneak around after school for a few weeks, while Bettina is hesitant to take the relationship any further due to Bampas’s rule against dating. One afternoon Brady introduces himself to Bampas and all that changes. Brady is accepted by the Vasilis family and becomes Bettina’s key to freedom and a more normal life.

The relationship is perfect and progresses over a spring and summer, which in high school is an eternity. One day the two run through a rainstorm and end up sneaking into Brady’s basement. He’s set up an old futon mattress with Sesame Street sheets and pushes things too far. Bettina’s not ready and the relationship begins to take an abusive turn. Brady is rough with Bettina on lots of occasions. She brushes it off and blames herself, but the abuse gets worse.

Around this time Bettina meets Cowboy. Cowboy is nice and respects Bettina in all the ways Brady does not.  He is much older and does his best to stay just-friends with Bettina even though it’s clear there’s a strong attraction. With the abuse from Brady continuing, Cowboy is there to care for Bettina and treat her injuries. Cowboy also has a secret that draws him closer to Bettina.

Eventually Cowboy and Bettina come to terms with their relationship and decide to be together. This is where tragedy strikes and the part where I totally lost it, like full box of Kleenex lossssst it! No spoilers, but I’ll say that this is where Connor really shines and something I’d like to see more of in her next book.

This book was a journey. It’s a bit tough to read at times, especially when Bettina insists on blaming herself for the abuse from Brady. She sticks around and sticks around, hoping Brady will change. In the end, Bettina does stand on her own in all the important ways. If you’re on the fence, I’d say that Bettina’s relationship with Cowboy alone makes the book worth it.

Dear Mr. You

It's an interesting concept, this Mary-Louise Parker memoir. Dear Mr. You is a series of letters written to the men in her life. I wanted to pick it up, and at a book-oriented Christmas party, there it sat like a gift waiting to be picked up. So I did.

I was discussing this book with a friend who said she didn't want to read it because it came across as pretentious and self-aggrandizing. I thought on that for a while, and realized that once I put this book into the memoir genre, that of course it is, because every memoir is pretentious and self-aggrandizing. It kinda defines the genre. It put the whole thing in a new perspective, and I stopped thinking of this book as a puff piece and more as a way to tell a story.

Here's why I think this is important: Because memoir plays with lives. Mostly your own, but also with others'.  We tell our stories entirely from our own points of view, and that affects other people whether we intend for it to our not. Our truth is our own, and memoir exploits that. So in Parker's memoir, we know that she has dated some famous people, one even leaving her when she was seven months pregnant for a younger actress. I understand Parker's need to tell these stories without naming names, and I loved that each chapter was addressed to a different nicknamed man.

Which leads me to the most profound of the letters, "Dear Cerberus." There has been much written about this all over the interwebs (just Google her name and the chapter title -- no need for me to link to everything here), and the consensus is that the three heads of the mythical dog represent three horrible relationships. I could speculate as to who they are, but really, I don't think it matters. It was the first dog head that punched me in the gut -- the picture of Parker in her new pants, of which she was excited and proud, and being torn down by physically and verbally for it was gut-wrenching. There is no self-pity though; it's a story of what happened and how she reacted to it. We have all had bad relationships, some more abusive than others and in different ways, but it's enough to know that feeling when someone you love turns to you and calls you a name you never envisioned they would.

There were other beautiful letters in here as well. The letter to the cab driver was universal until she turns to him and tells him about why she is in a bad mood -- she's pregnant and alone and she says, "It hurts to even breathe." Oh god, how that hurt to read. Her letter to a former younger lover, who at the time was tremendously younger but now with age she realizes wouldn't be quite so, was ridiculously lovely and so easy to understand. Her letter to her father was moving and gracious. Her letter to the doctor who saved her life was personal to me. To almost leave this mortal coil and to be pulled back to the earth -- there are not enough words on this earth for that gratefulness.

All of this to say that you can find where you fit in with this book if you open it. It doesn't have to be read in order, and these letters are ones you can come back to. Some you can read at a distance with age, and some you can look forward to. It's a lovely little memoir.

Naked Statistics: Stripping the Dread from the Data

This book was recommended to me a while ago, and I just got around to getting it from the library this Fall. I loved it so much I bought it so I could highlight and take notes in it. Either I'm a super big nerd or it's a super great book. Maybe both? This is Charles Wheelan's Naked Statistics: Stripping the Dread from the Data.

Statisticians are not exactly known for their ability to break down their work for the common man, or even to be clear and concise. Trust me -- I know this well. This is why it took an economist to explain some rather complicated points to a general audience. I have yet to find a statistics text book that explains things in a way that I, a non-statistician but someone who does statistics, can understand. I tutor AP Stats, and once we get past the normal curve things get weird. It's just not in most scholars' wheelhouses to be able to explain things to people who don't get them.

So along comes Wheelan, who explains things like the normal curve and regression and probability in ways that I not only got, but I loved. The last semester I took classes for my doctorate, I had an amazing stats class taught by a sociology professor who used econometrics (a specific type of statistics), and my mind was blown. It reminded me of why I loved stats in the first place, and this book reminded me of that class.

I decided to go into this book reading it as though I knew nothing at all about statistics. I found myself constantly highlighting basic definitions and focusing on things I already knew but that were explained so simply and so clearly. Wheelan does a phenomenal job of making these concepts clear and fun (and yes, even sometimes funny) so that the reader, that would be me, can stay engaged and interested. Normally this stuff would put you (read: me) to sleep, but Wheelan does it in such an engaging way that I have been recommending this book to everyone I know who even comes close to needing stats.

This book is one I will turn to if I ever have to teach a stats class. I can absolutely see myself assigning the book, and I find myself actually looking forward to that. After 7 semesters of stats work in my graduate career, I walk away with a book that was never assigned but must always remain a part of my repertoire. 

The Long Walk: A Novel

A friend and I were speaking about our favorite Stephen King books, and I am fully behind The Green Mile. He, however, was adamant about The Long Walk. We agreed to read the other's favorite and discuss.

It's an annual tradition. 100 boys are chosen for The Long Walk in the spring. You will receive three warnings, and after that, it's done for you. If you fall below a certain pace, that's a warning. If you step out of bounds, that's all three. The winner, though, will live in infamy forever. The Long Walk has been happening for as long as these boys have been alive, and it's an exclusive club -- almost every boy in America applies. Few get in. Rain or shine. No stopping. Hopefully you will make it to the end. Otherwise...

This book was particularly interesting because I wasn't entirely sure whether or not I bought the idea that the main character was going to survive until the end. I won't tell you whether he does or not, because it gives away the ending, but I can honestly say that I spent the entire book in a state of curiosity as to what exactly king was trying to do. I like the character of Garrity, and I found him to be the most compelling for the last two thirds of the book, simply because he became a real human being. I can't see that my feet started to hurt the way that my friends did when he read this book, but I definitely felt the humanity of these boys who were walking nonstop throughout the day and night. It made my heart hurt. 

The hardest part that I had was this book was the inhumanity of the task at hand. Soldiers killed boys who can't make it, or those who receive more than three warnings for slowing down or other offenses. I don't know if it's just me, but as I get older I have less of a propensity for dealing with violence in media. This, of course, coming from a girl whose top five favorite books tend to be incredibly violent book. (Read: The Iliad, The Road, I Am Pilgrim, The Green Mile, etc.) for some reason, in this book the violent seem to be completely unnecessary. What I mean by this is not that King shouldn't have written the book, but that the circumstances set up by King in the book made the violence seem incredibly unfair. I hope that makes sense, as it's not a criticism of King's writing, rather it's a criticism of the dystopian future that King writes about in the book.

So yes, it's entirely accurate to say that I enjoyed this book, however, when I sit down with my friend to discuss our two favorite Stephen King books, I stand by The Green Mile as my favorite. I did enjoy this book, absolutely, but I stand by my original choice.

The Killing Lessons: A Novel

I was told at Book Expo this year that this was the scariest book they had on offer. Well then. I want it. This is Saul Black's The Killing Lessons. 

Two men enter a home one quiet morning. Most of the family doesn't survive -- the young daughter is the only. The two men leave to continue their spree, but it's a far cry from what it appears at that farmhouse. Women are disappearing all over the west and showing up ravaged in random places. What do the objects found inside of them represent? Who are these men who have such little disregard for life? Valerie Hart is the detective on the case, and she will stop at nothing to seek justice -- even if it means putting her own life is at terrifying risk.

Yeah, so I was sold about five pages in. When the men entered the farmhouse, the story was so vivid that I actually felt my heart pounding and I was flipping through the pages faster than I could read. That usually happens at the end of books, so to have it happen at the start was really incredible. Black's prose pulled me and made me want to reach out and give the young girl a push, to get away as fast as she could. I found myself letting out my breath at the end of the chapter, and I hadn't even known I was holding it.

This mystery was strung together so brilliantly that I loved every second of it. I would absolutely say that the moment Valerie put the puzzle together, it was a little contrived, but in all fairness, it wasn't any worse than a Law & Order episode. It was actually quite a bit more seamless than that. It was fascinating, though, to barrel through this story like I was running out of air. It came to a head and blew me away, and for that, I would recommend you spend your own quiet, dark, rainy Friday night alone with this book. If you dare, that is. 

Winter Stroll: A Novel

Elin Hilderbrand is a fun person. You are probably wondering how I know this. It's simple -- she served beer during her book signing at BEA this year. So, by process of alcohol elimination, she's a super fun person. I've never read any of her books before, but this one looked short and sweet and I figured it would make a great holiday read. It did. This is Winter Stroll.

It's been a hell of a year for the Quinns of Nantucket. The youngest, Bart, has gone MIA in Afghanistan; the oldest, Patrick, is in jail for insider trading; and Mitzi, Bart's mother, has left her husband for their annual Santa Claus. It's not all bad though: Ava, the daughter, is in love; Kevin, the middle son, has a fiance and a baby; and Margaret, the mother of the oldest three, is a successful newscaster. They all gather at the family inn on the island to celebrate the baptism of Kevin's daughter on the weekend of the annual festival, the Winter Stroll. Needless to say, there will be misunderstandings, bad choices, and secrets revealed. However, if they can all make it out alive, they will be a stronger family than ever before.

This book was everything I wanted it to be. I took it home for the holidays last week and I just jumped into it headfirst and spent some quality time with the Quinns. They were fun, they were crazy, and they reminded me of own family at the base of who we all are. The Quinns all love each other even if the kids drive them nuts with their video game playing or the brothers are far away. This was one of the few times I have read a book told from multiple perspectives and really liked it, because I felt that was the best way to tell this story. Hilderbrand weaves a fun and interesting narrative, and I found that despite being able to finish this book in a day, I wanted to drag it out just a little because I really enjoyed the characters and their mishaps.

The story was tightly told and to the point, and I'm really glad I saved this book to read while I was home for the holidays. It was the perfect read, and I'm so thankful to have something to take my mind off my own research for a bit. Not that Elin will ever read this, but I would like to thank her anyway for a couple of hours of my suspension of disbelief. It was much appreciated. 

For purchase below. 

Chasing the Dime: A Novel

After reading a couple of Michael Connelly's Lincoln Lawyer series I decided that I really like him. I took a stroll to visit my Book Guy on a nice day a couple of weeks ago and picked up one of his older ones, Chasing the Dime.

Henry Pierce is a biotech entrepreneur who has done very well for himself--everywhere except his love life. When his girlfriend leaves him, he has to get a new apartment, new furniture, and a new phone number. Only that phone number recently belonged to Lilly, who appears to have been a very popular escort. Who is Lilly? What happened to her? Why did she give up her phone number, and why does it seem like she just disappeared into thin air? The more Henry digs, the more he finds he needs to know--before it kills him.

I love a good-samaritan-bad-situation-and-even-more-bad-choices kind of story. This is exactly what I got and I enjoyed every second of it. Henry, who by all means meant well, couldn't leave it alone. He had to keep digging, even when the reader (me) knew he was on his way up sh&% creek. You know nothing good could have come from Lilly's disappearance, and Henry's run-ins with her [ahem] business colleagues lead you to the same conclusion. However, it's not the destination, but rather the journey that is worth following Henry's little adventure.

I was a bit surprised by the ending. While it was a little on the far-fetched side, sometimes I really want that in my weekend reading. I don't want heavy-handed writing that is going to make me think and contemplate the meaning of life; I want fast-paced, interesting characters who drive me through a nail-biting story and make me want to not get up from my new and comfortable reading chair.

[It's not new; it's actually quite old. But I do sink down in it, for the record.]

Hard copy for purchase below.